Hey ma, the neighbour that Mrs. Chan used to stay has a wedding ceremony going on. Just bring memories back on kor kor’s wedding doesn’t it? You were looking very beautiful with the nice blouses we together chose in Jusco. I remember one dark red and a lime green one. I packed it together when you left me so that you would reminiscence with it anytime. You were so happy on that day. I hope you are having that same exact smile up in heaven.
Mummy? Life in Seremban isn’t a bed a roses at all. I thought I will be alright since I knew how to study in the first two years in Bukit Jalil but somehow things got complicated once again. Right now, I’m pretty much lost. Baby steps once again huh? Yea mum,I can do this. For you, I will...
I can’t seem to stop crying right now. It really pains me to write on. So I shall keep this letter to Heaven brief. I’m sorry mum. Your departure really impacted me deeply. Never have I been this emotional. You are my mother, the person who hugs me for every exam. I guess this year going to be different. I will write to you more on my Seremban days Ma. I love you.
Sigh...
Friday, 02 October 2009
This year’s joyous moment won’t be the same without you. Could you at least appear in my dreams on that special day? I miss you so.
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Hey mum,
Brian just left to Heaththrow, London. It’s getting pretty lonely now. Wished you were still here to comfort me for his temporary absence. =/ Where are you mum?
Friday, 25 September 2009
New look at the turning point of me life.
Like it?
Monday, 10 August 2009
In need of a Dreamcatcher
I just had the most rubbish and horrible dream. It is quite rare for me to wake up in tears. The relieved feeling that all is nothing but mind tricks was an immense joy for me. So far, I have been getting nightmares ever since my mum’s death. I really don’t feel traumatized anymore but my mind says otherwise. Even my hypothalamo-pituitary-ovarian axis is all jumbled up!
Just an hour ago, I was in the world where I lost Brian in a plane crash. At the same time, I lost my siblings too. Mum was healthy, I hugged her. I thought to myself:” At least she’s alive.” Then once again, she left me without any reason. Dreams are simply illogical and ruthless when it comes to nightmares. Bah, horrible horrible.
I just can’t get over my mum’s death. I thought I already had the knack of this death situation but it all came crashing down with just a dream.
